


Up in the Air

by St_Salieri



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Gen, Humor, Season/Series 05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-17
Updated: 2011-04-17
Packaged: 2017-11-25 09:56:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/637676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/St_Salieri/pseuds/St_Salieri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angel and Spike on a roller coaster.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Up in the Air

**Author's Note:**

> For lynnenne. :)

It wasn't like he was scared of heights or anything. Because he wasn't, at all. Vampires weren't scared of anything. Even as a human, he'd never been afraid of heights. Not like he'd ever really been anywhere high as a human - although there was that one time he'd fallen out of the hay loft onto the ground below and broken his collarbone when that girl's husband had gotten home early. What was her name again? Margret? Martha? Pretty little thing with sharp dark eyes and the roundest hips, a perfect handful, with a husband who had to travel (and unfortunately return early on occasion), and okay, maybe he hadn't much liked climbing into haylofts after that experience, but he was totally _not_ afraid of heights!

So his reaction to the towering monstrosity in front of him? _Not_ fear, or nervousness, or sheer existential gibbering terror. He was just...bored. And vaguely curious as to why any sane person would design something so...stupid. And boring.

Oh, God. Why was he here again?

"Because you decided to revive Employee Appreciation Night - minus the killing of any actual employees. And I'm here because you paid me to be. Although I'm thinking the look on your face is reward enough."

"Spike. I said that out loud, didn't I?"

"Afraid so."

"I'll pay you double if you go away."

"Not a chance. All the little worker bees want to see their queen in action. They're starting to think you don't like them."

Angel shoved his hands in his pockets and eyed the roller coaster balefully. Whoever designed it must have been under the influence of a spell. It was the only explanation. Did that thing even obey the laws of physics?

"I like them! Well, I tolerate them. The non-evil ones, that is. That leaves, what, at least six people I don't loathe on general principles?"

"Awww, what a sweetheart. Does that include me?"

"Don't push your luck, Spike."

"Oh, I'm pushing all right. You're not getting away with dragging me down to the Great Evil Mouse Kingdom without me having a little fun."

"Well, go have it somewhere else. I'm trying to...hey, let go! Spike, what the hell? You'll tear the leather!"

And before he knew it he was sitting in the goddamn evil, demonic roller coaster - that he was _not_ scared of - trying to calculate his chances of imminent death. Spike had shoved him into the front seat and crowded in next to him, and it was only the applause of some nearby employees that made him grimace out a smile and settle down in his seat to wave at them stiffly.

"I'm going to kill you, Spike," he said through clenched teeth.

"Yeah, what else is new? Sit back and enjoy the ride, would you?"

The line of cars lurched into motion with a rattle, and he grabbed onto the side of the car with a white-knuckled grip. Up, up, up they went, at such a steep angle it felt like he was lying on his back. Hey, who was the last person who did a safety check on this harness? Because it felt a little loose, and if he fell out he was going to sue this place into the next millennium, courtesy of one of the most powerful law firms in this or any other dimension. That was assuming he survived the fall, which he probably would - although it would hurt like hell - except...holy crap, who left those piles of wood just laying there on the ground like that? Didn't they know vampires would be attending tonight? He'd be sure to have a word with the park safety superintendent as soon as he was back safe on terra firma, because....

"Want me to hold your hand, big guy?"

"Huh?"

And then they were at the top and the world fell away in front of him, and it looked like he was going to have to bribe Spike with a new car to make sure he ignored the girly shriek Angel let out as they plunged down the track. He slammed his eyes shut and grabbed at the goddamn safety harness hard enough to make it creak, Spike's cackles of laughter fighting to be heard over the roar of the wind whistling in his ears. His neck felt like it was going to snap as he was jerked back and forth, and if any of his employees confronted him about the whimpering he was going to have to kill some of them after all. How did humans survive something like this? And they did it for _fun_?

And then it was over, and they were pulling into the station in one piece. As soon as the car came to a stop he scrambled out on legs that felt like jello, growling at the park employee who tried to help him with the harness.

"Now that wasn't so bad, was it?"

He couldn't answer Spike until he knew for sure that his voice wouldn't shake, so he just settled for a strong glower. Spike grinned at him.

"See? I knew you'd have fun. Let me show you the best bit."

Spike dragged him over to a small kiosk that showed a range of what looked like security screens. Spike poked his finger at one of them and handed the guy behind the counter a bill, choking in delight at the piece of paper he got in return. Angel took a closer look at the screen Spike had pointed at and felt his mouth drop open.

It was a picture of him and Spike, and from the angle it must have been taken from a camera set up somewhere along the track of the roller coaster. In fact, there were pictures of all of the riders, although he couldn't look away from the one of him. His grainy, black-and-white face was squished up in something that looked a little too much like terror, eyes screwed shut and mouth pursed mid-whimper. And Spike...Spike was looking right at the goddamn camera and making an obscene gesture, a shit-eating grin splitting his face.

"Spike, I swear to _God_...."

Spike waved the piece of paper and shoved it in his pocket, backtracking at a rapid pace.

"I figure this will be a good one for the employee directory. What do you think?"

He thought he'd give Spike a three second head start before he chased him into Frontierland and killed him. It was only sporting, after all.


End file.
